Michal's blog

What's your daily focus practice?

One of my core values is discipline and doing what I say. This for me is how I show up with integrity both for myself and the commitments I make to others. Keeping focused on what's most important helps me feel productive and be sure that whatever I've promised the people I work with, I get done. To support this value and way of working, I've created a daily practice that keeps me focused on the most important people and projects.

Each day I meditate, as close to waking and certainly before my first meeting. I get clear on what is coming up that day and how I want to show up for myself and the people I’m spending time with. I decide how I want to be, for example, is being joyful and listening to my intuition the most important way for today, or curiosity, humour?

 

I use mindful breathing many times in a day - particularly when I’m feeling strong emotions, maybe because I’ve just come from a fierce conversation or a situation that warrants some deep empathy - simply breath gets me grounded and clear before my next meeting or activity.

 

Exercise - feeling my body, connecting to my physical being and what’s going on for me. Maybe I’m relying too much on a coffee buzz and wanting an energy boost - listening to my cues and taking care throughout the day. How much water have I had? etc As well as honouring my value around fitness and health.

I also write - my daily journal and always moving a blog post or article forward. And most importantly - mindfulness, being fully present in each activity. Several years ago I broke my right foot and ‘lost’ my ability to multi-task in the healing process. It was a huge gift ultimately - choosing to only do one thing at a time. To have all of my mind and body focused on the thing I am doing or person i am talking with and nothing else. What a beautiful way to be, to honour those around me and the purpose or agenda of the company I’m working for. Weekly, I enjoy a mindful Friday night dinner with my family and turn off all technology to Saturday night and on Sunday's I reflect on my past week and prepare for my next - what worked, what didn't, what's important, what's not. etc.

Joy to you in finding a practice that works :)

What do you want for you life? knowing oneself

Socrates

 

There are many wiser than me that have offered knowing yourself as a valuable pursuit that brings great rewards.

 

Here are a few of my favourite quotes on why to do this:

• “I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.” – Mark Twain

• "If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles."  Sun Tzu

• “It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.” – Lucille Ball

• “The searching-out and thorough investigation of truth ought to be the primary study of man.” – Cicero

 

This is how I invest in knowing myself - I hope it inspires you to create your own practice

1. I spend time understanding my motivations, values in action or inaction, and my triggers. I leverage my coach to deconstruct situations that were particularly difficult or rewarding, where I’m overwhelmed by emotion and don’t feel I can think rationally - I check in to get crystal clear on what is going on, how am I feeling, what was the trigger(s) and how will I be at choice in action going forward.
2. I challenge myself in areas I want to understand more about myself by reading, going to lectures, sharing honestly with leanred or experienced friends.
3. I keep a daily journal - particularly around areas in my life I want to change or improve like being on time and creating sufficient time in my day for reflection. I’ve long run my calendar to ‘maximize time and service’ i.e. every available minute is in meetings, working on a project, etc. This is not only un-sustainable for me, it doesn’t leave me any room for the unexpected and more importantly an opportunity to reflect on what may have just happened or prepare for what or who I may be seeing next. This is not fair to me nor to the people I work with.

How are you taking care of yourself?

The leaders I coach drive themselves and their teams to great achievements, are engaged in what they do, love their work and have passion and compassion in how they work for their teams and customers. They face tough situations - impossible-seeming deadlines or goals, difficult conversations, constant re-balancing of work-life priorities, and crazy business scenarios we’ve never faced before.

Their days can be both energizing and completely draining. And each day they face those choices and predicaments at times with full grace and others with total foolishness.

Along the way I hear and offer the questions - how are you taking care of yourself? how will you rejuvenate? how will you maintain balance? so you I ask these questions of the leaders I work with so that they can keep driving their goals, over-achieving each day and showing up for the important people in your life :)

 

I focus on three ways to do this myself.

• Knowing myself - spending time to understand and check in with my values, triggers, and motivations.

• Doing a daily practice - i’ve created a daily and weekly practice that touches on my mind, body and spirit. this discipline and evolving practice keeps me learning, present and ‘in balance’

• Being discerning about my influences - choose the people, experiences and beauty that influence my life and what’s important about that today, this week or month or year.

What Does Your Life Design Look Like?

I would guess many people would react to this title like what on earth is she talking about? Design my life - what does that even mean? Many people I coach and work with have not thought about their life’s design - meaning the focused work you do, is it in support of your values and vision? the people you surround yourself with - do they inspire and motivate you? the physical space you live in - does it give you energy?  

 

Your life design includes more than your career. I invite my clients to think beyond what's on paper. Your career is your role, salary, title, industry company. I’m asking you also think of -  who you will be surrounded with, where it might take you beyond the role right now, how it will honour or not honour your values and how it will fit with your vision for your life.

 

If we jump mindlessly from one opportunity to the next - even if they are great opportunities on the surface eg more money, bigger title etc it can cost us in our personal lives in ways we may not consider. Arianna Huffington recently wrote about this in her book Thrive, “Our relentless pursuit of the two traditional metrics of success - money and power - has led to an epidemic of burnout and stress-related illnesses, and an erosion in the quality of our relationships, family life, and, ironically, our careers”. In addition to this sentiment, everyone’s heard repeated stories of those on their deathbed who never regret not having worked more or harder - what they always say is they wished they'd spent more time with people they loved or doing things that inspire and nurture. These are our regrets. So how do you want to design your life with no regrets in mind?

 

Here are my 3 tips on designing which I hope inspires you to re-create your designed life:

1. Know your values and how you want to honour them

2. Define your vision if not for 5 years at least for the next year - what are the big impressions you want to leave

3. Who are your stakeholders (the people that matter to you) and how will you honour them

Three Ways to Know When Coaching is Right for You

As a certified coach, people often ask me how to know if they could benefit from coaching. Many think it’s just for executives and high-profile leaders they’ve heard use it, like Eric Schmidt and Mark Zuckerberg – and then they assume they aren’t senior enough or can’t afford it. Some think of coaching with its old stigma (“If I need a coach something is wrong with me”). Some confuse coaching with mentoring or therapy.

 

None of these assumptions hold any truth whatsoever. After spending nearly two decades in the corporate world and the past several years as an executive coach, there are three things I look for when deciding whether someone will benefit from coaching. These things have nothing to do with corporate title or experience level. They have everything to do with who you are as a person – whether or not you want to grow as an individual and how hard you’re willing to work to achieve your goals.

 

1. You’re ready for a change that you want to instigate.

You can see it, feel it, taste it. It may be a big promotion you’ve set your sights on or a complete career change. Doesn’t matter if you’re 25 or 65, running a business or working at a convenience store. You have the desire and the drive; now you need experienced, unbiased support for the what and the how.

 

2. You’re facing a new challenge and you know what you don’t know.

You’ve been placed in a new job or a role that requires you to operate at a higher level of performance, leadership and emotional intelligence than ever before, and you realize you don’t have all the answers. Often this scenario includes managing former peers and managing “up” – skill sets that take time and focus to develop according to your unique strengths and personality, and which benefit greatly from having an experienced guide.

 

3. You’ve realized the biggest obstacle to reaching your goals is you.

Almost everyone has a self-saboteur – an inner voice of doom that keeps them from achieving their best – and a lot of people aren’t ready for the self-introspection required to tame it. You know you’re ready for coaching when you realize that the pep talks, promises and scolding you regularly give yourself aren’t working, and you’re finally ready to do the hard work required to tame your gremlin once and for all.

 

Each of these scenarios requires asking and honestly answering questions about who you are and what you truly want – not what your boss, spouse or parents want. If you can’t be honest about yourself and what makes you tick, your success will be limited at best, and it’s just a matter of when – not if – you hit a dead end. Why? Because highly effective people leverage their distinctive abilities, strengths and ways of interacting with others to achieve great things, versus trying to adopt versions of themselves they can never maintain, especially under pressure.  

 

What to Expect from Coaching

 

People often think that being coached requires showing up for a conversation once a week or every two weeks and having a discussion about work issues. In reality, coaching uses a rigorous methodology of inquiry, called powerful questions, that’s designed to help uncover your unique personality and strengths, and it does so not by giving you the answers but by helping you learn to ask and answer the right questions on your own. Participating in this process can be either enjoyable or challenging, depending on your personality; it requires deep reflection about your fears and weaknesses, what within you is holding you back, and what behaviours you need to own in order to change your situation.

 

Questions Used in Coaching

In my coaching, I use “pondering” questions designed by The Coaches Training Institute to stimulate my clients’ thinking in a particular way that will make our work together even more productive. For example, I ask my clients to answer each of these questions as clearly and thoughtfully as possible, expressing the best of who they are:

 

About you:

1. Turn the clock back and look at a time in your life when you felt your full power - a time when your spine, arms and fingertips were tingling with excitement, a time when you simply didn't care what anyone thought of you. You were absolutely alive! Where were you? What were you doing? Who was around you and what was occurring in them at the time? What was your impact on those around you?

2. You've been given a billboard and can put any message you want on it. Thousands of people will drive by and see your billboard each day. What does it say?

3. What accomplishments do you think must occur during your lifetime so that you will consider your life to have been satisfying and well-lived – a life of few or no regrets?

4. If there were a secret passion in your life, what would it be?

5. What do you consider your role to be in your local community? In your country? In the world?

 

About us:

1. What do you want to make sure you get from our coaching relationship?

2. What do you want from me as your coach?

 

What comes up for you when you read these questions? Do any of the above scenarios ring true for you? If so, how are you investing in yourself right now?  

 

I’d love to hear from you, and I’m always happy to help people explore whether coaching is right for them – with no strings attached. For more information, contact me any time at michalmberman at gmail.com.