Michal's blog

How are you taking care of yourself?

The leaders I coach drive themselves and their teams to great achievements, are engaged in what they do, love their work and have passion and compassion in how they work for their teams and customers. They face tough situations - impossible-seeming deadlines or goals, difficult conversations, constant re-balancing of work-life priorities, and crazy business scenarios we’ve never faced before.

Their days can be both energizing and completely draining. And each day they face those choices and predicaments at times with full grace and others with total foolishness.

Along the way I hear and offer the questions - how are you taking care of yourself? how will you rejuvenate? how will you maintain balance? so you I ask these questions of the leaders I work with so that they can keep driving their goals, over-achieving each day and showing up for the important people in your life :)

 

I focus on three ways to do this myself.

• Knowing myself - spending time to understand and check in with my values, triggers, and motivations.

• Doing a daily practice - i’ve created a daily and weekly practice that touches on my mind, body and spirit. this discipline and evolving practice keeps me learning, present and ‘in balance’

• Being discerning about my influences - choose the people, experiences and beauty that influence my life and what’s important about that today, this week or month or year.

What Does Your Life Design Look Like?

I would guess many people would react to this title like what on earth is she talking about? Design my life - what does that even mean? Many people I coach and work with have not thought about their life’s design - meaning the focused work you do, is it in support of your values and vision? the people you surround yourself with - do they inspire and motivate you? the physical space you live in - does it give you energy?  

 

Your life design includes more than your career. I invite my clients to think beyond what's on paper. Your career is your role, salary, title, industry company. I’m asking you also think of -  who you will be surrounded with, where it might take you beyond the role right now, how it will honour or not honour your values and how it will fit with your vision for your life.

 

If we jump mindlessly from one opportunity to the next - even if they are great opportunities on the surface eg more money, bigger title etc it can cost us in our personal lives in ways we may not consider. Arianna Huffington recently wrote about this in her book Thrive, “Our relentless pursuit of the two traditional metrics of success - money and power - has led to an epidemic of burnout and stress-related illnesses, and an erosion in the quality of our relationships, family life, and, ironically, our careers”. In addition to this sentiment, everyone’s heard repeated stories of those on their deathbed who never regret not having worked more or harder - what they always say is they wished they'd spent more time with people they loved or doing things that inspire and nurture. These are our regrets. So how do you want to design your life with no regrets in mind?

 

Here are my 3 tips on designing which I hope inspires you to re-create your designed life:

1. Know your values and how you want to honour them

2. Define your vision if not for 5 years at least for the next year - what are the big impressions you want to leave

3. Who are your stakeholders (the people that matter to you) and how will you honour them

Two Steps to Getting Better Organized

Recently I learned, through ClearFit’s  ‘job-fit’ profiling tool that being organized is not my strength - anyone who knows me might be surprised by this. I mean I manage my life by lists, I tend towards being OCD the day before a vacation, or running an event, and my filing systems are beautiful! Well it turns out that these are all coping mechanisms for naturally *not* being organized. If I was naturally so - this would simply flow effortlessly.

 

 

As a Leadership Coach  - I have the advantage of hearing about this common problem from many vantage points. There is not one client I’ve had, from the C-suite on down who doesn’t struggle with this same thing. There are an amazing plethora of books dedicated to this topic  and my favourite first foundational tool is Covey’s First Things First. This book is my go-to on this topic because he uses a super simple model that’s easy to remember and apply for any list of priorities. But when I am feeling particularly overwhelmed or stuck in the choice modality, I turn to the two action steps I share below

 

 

So, from the ‘trenches’, here is a dead simple 2-step daily practice. And the key to the success of this approach is daily practice!

 

• Step 1 - Each morning take a few minutes to yourself to sit quietly and answer two questions: What is most important today to focus on? How do you want to show up for the people you will be meeting?  

• I do this sometimes in the car while waiting for the engine to warm up in winter - I close my eyes, and take some nice slow and deep breaths

• My favourite version of this practice, is to take 15 minutes and mediate in my cozy been bag chair ideally in the morning sunrise light and find the answer to these questions before my time is done

• Step 2 - When you get that 'overwhelm' feeling take 3 deep - and I mean deep - breaths. Then decide what is most important in that moment. And/or go for a walk around the block - essentially you want to get in touch with your physical being.

• Bonus step - find an activity that works for you in practicing that brain/body connection  eg,Yoga, TaiChi, Basketball, Running, whatever will do it for you.

So, what's working for you?

Comment below or tweet me @micberman

Three Ways to Know When Coaching is Right for You

As a certified coach, people often ask me how to know if they could benefit from coaching. Many think it’s just for executives and high-profile leaders they’ve heard use it, like Eric Schmidt and Mark Zuckerberg – and then they assume they aren’t senior enough or can’t afford it. Some think of coaching with its old stigma (“If I need a coach something is wrong with me”). Some confuse coaching with mentoring or therapy.

 

None of these assumptions hold any truth whatsoever. After spending nearly two decades in the corporate world and the past several years as an executive coach, there are three things I look for when deciding whether someone will benefit from coaching. These things have nothing to do with corporate title or experience level. They have everything to do with who you are as a person – whether or not you want to grow as an individual and how hard you’re willing to work to achieve your goals.

 

1. You’re ready for a change that you want to instigate.

You can see it, feel it, taste it. It may be a big promotion you’ve set your sights on or a complete career change. Doesn’t matter if you’re 25 or 65, running a business or working at a convenience store. You have the desire and the drive; now you need experienced, unbiased support for the what and the how.

 

2. You’re facing a new challenge and you know what you don’t know.

You’ve been placed in a new job or a role that requires you to operate at a higher level of performance, leadership and emotional intelligence than ever before, and you realize you don’t have all the answers. Often this scenario includes managing former peers and managing “up” – skill sets that take time and focus to develop according to your unique strengths and personality, and which benefit greatly from having an experienced guide.

 

3. You’ve realized the biggest obstacle to reaching your goals is you.

Almost everyone has a self-saboteur – an inner voice of doom that keeps them from achieving their best – and a lot of people aren’t ready for the self-introspection required to tame it. You know you’re ready for coaching when you realize that the pep talks, promises and scolding you regularly give yourself aren’t working, and you’re finally ready to do the hard work required to tame your gremlin once and for all.

 

Each of these scenarios requires asking and honestly answering questions about who you are and what you truly want – not what your boss, spouse or parents want. If you can’t be honest about yourself and what makes you tick, your success will be limited at best, and it’s just a matter of when – not if – you hit a dead end. Why? Because highly effective people leverage their distinctive abilities, strengths and ways of interacting with others to achieve great things, versus trying to adopt versions of themselves they can never maintain, especially under pressure.  

 

What to Expect from Coaching

 

People often think that being coached requires showing up for a conversation once a week or every two weeks and having a discussion about work issues. In reality, coaching uses a rigorous methodology of inquiry, called powerful questions, that’s designed to help uncover your unique personality and strengths, and it does so not by giving you the answers but by helping you learn to ask and answer the right questions on your own. Participating in this process can be either enjoyable or challenging, depending on your personality; it requires deep reflection about your fears and weaknesses, what within you is holding you back, and what behaviours you need to own in order to change your situation.

 

Questions Used in Coaching

In my coaching, I use “pondering” questions designed by The Coaches Training Institute to stimulate my clients’ thinking in a particular way that will make our work together even more productive. For example, I ask my clients to answer each of these questions as clearly and thoughtfully as possible, expressing the best of who they are:

 

About you:

1. Turn the clock back and look at a time in your life when you felt your full power - a time when your spine, arms and fingertips were tingling with excitement, a time when you simply didn't care what anyone thought of you. You were absolutely alive! Where were you? What were you doing? Who was around you and what was occurring in them at the time? What was your impact on those around you?

2. You've been given a billboard and can put any message you want on it. Thousands of people will drive by and see your billboard each day. What does it say?

3. What accomplishments do you think must occur during your lifetime so that you will consider your life to have been satisfying and well-lived – a life of few or no regrets?

4. If there were a secret passion in your life, what would it be?

5. What do you consider your role to be in your local community? In your country? In the world?

 

About us:

1. What do you want to make sure you get from our coaching relationship?

2. What do you want from me as your coach?

 

What comes up for you when you read these questions? Do any of the above scenarios ring true for you? If so, how are you investing in yourself right now?  

 

I’d love to hear from you, and I’m always happy to help people explore whether coaching is right for them – with no strings attached. For more information, contact me any time at michalmberman at gmail.com.

Five Steps to Hiring a Great Executive Coach

Choosing an executive coach can feel daunting. Simply search for "coach, <insert your city>" and results will vary from the Coach brand to coaching associations. Here are five simple steps I’ve found to be the most effective for choosing a coach: 

1. Identify why you want coaching. You may be taking on a new leadership role, making a major life transition, leaning in to who and how you want to show up in the world, etc.
2. Research potential coaches. How were they trained? What references can they offer? Do they work remotely or in person?
3. Try before you buy. Set up a sample session and notice how you feel before, during and after -– without judging your feelings. Do you feel that you can trust him/her, especially with your deepest, darkest fears? Does he/she inspire or energize you? Often this will come down to your gut feel about the person.
4. Make a resonant choice. Create some space around your decision by facilitating your search in the way you make decisions best. For me, my best decisions come when I’ve done my research about the topic and the candidates, and then gathered input from as many sources as I feel I need. This process helps me to follow my gut once I’m actually engaged with someone.
5. Let the data be your guide. As you lean in with your coach and begin the work, check in after three sessions. Is he/she meeting your expectations? Be honest about why or why not, and the role you play in the dynamic. Engage in a dialogue about how it’s going and decide from there. It's unlikely you'll have made a poor choice, but if you have, both of you should be able to talk about it. If your coach can’t comfortably engage with you on this topic, there’s a clue.

It’s also important to be clear about the role you play in the coaching relationship. Getting the most out of coaching requires what I have found to be the hallmarks of highly effective people in life overall:  

1. The willingness to be honest with yourself and your coach about how you're really behaving and what you're choosing, whether consciously or not, with the actions you're taking.
2. The willingness to make a resonant choice about how you want to be in the world, who you want to be and to stand up for what you truly want. In other words: your BIG AGENDA.
3. The willingness to be held accountable for reaching your goals.

To be sure, this type of self-introspection can be a bit challenging, but just as with sports training, a bit of pain will give you major gains. I recently hired a personal trainer and I love her even when I hate her –- she will not let me get away with anything! My goal may be three repetitions at a certain weight but if I can only do one or two right now, that's my reality and I want to work to overcome it. The problem is that without my trainer, I’ll still be using old habits to overcome it a year and 10 more pounds from now. It’s the same with executive coaching… a focused approach with a trusted guide will fast-track your development and ultimately your success.

For more information, contact me any time at michalmberman at gmail.com.

Three Ways an Executive Coach Transforms Your Impact!

As an executive coach, I’ve seen people’s careers transformed by coaching. Many of the world's most admired companies, from Google to Goldman Sachs, invest in coaching, and annual spending on coaching in the U.S. is estimated at roughly $1 billion, according to Harvard Business Review. Yet I find that many people still don’t know what executive coaching is, how it works and what it can do for them. Here’s some insight.

Coaching defined

Simply put, coaching is personal training that helps professionals reach their goals, no matter where they are in the workforce – entry-level, CEO and everything in between. Much like a personal trainer works your body, an executive coach works your mind, helping you develop the mental strength, emotional intelligence and instinctive ability to problem solve and relate with others in the workplace.

Coaching uses a proven methodology of inquiry, called powerful questions, that’s been around for decades. The process is designed to leverage your unique personality and strengths, and it does so not by giving you the answers but by helping you learn to ask and answer the right questions on your own throughout your career’s myriad challenges.

The profession is governed by the International Coach Federation and has several internationally renowned schools, such as the one I attended: The Coaches Training Institute, the largest and oldest coach training school in the world.

What can an executive coach do for you?

Be a trusted sounding board.

I have found that most leaders thrive when they have a trusted guide who has walked in their shoes and is a truly unbiased source of feedback. Very few career and workplace challenges are brand new; a person’s experience or lack thereof is usually the variable. A good coach has no skin in the game other than your success as you’ve defined it, and will help you anticipate, problem-solve and build internal partnerships with the skill of a seasoned professional.

Support you with transitioning to a new role or career.

With most new roles come high expectations and unfamiliar territory, such as managing former peers or taking on managerial duties after years of virtual autonomy. Research shows when someone assumes a new or different leadership role, they have a 40% chance of demonstrating disappointing performance, and 82% of newly appointed leaders derail because they fail to build partnerships with subordinates and peers. An executive coach will help you transition effectively and build others’ trust in your ability to do the job.

Reveal derailing behaviour or blind spots.

According to Harvard Business Review, 2 out of 5 new CEOs fail in their first 18 months on the job – not for lack of competence, but due to hubris and other self-limiting behaviors. Whether you’re a CEO or receptionist, understanding the impact you have with your actions versus the impact you want to have can literally make the difference between being good and being great at what you do. Sometimes discovering a blind spot means helping people uncover their true purpose or higher calling, along with the fears that prevent them from acknowledging and acting on it.

It’s important to note that a good coach – versus a mentor, colleague, therapist or even a trusted friend – will hold you accountable for reaching your goals and will play an active role in helping you achieve your desired success.

Shared rewards

After decades of success working with many talented leaders at some of the world’s best-known brands, I decided to make my own transition to executive coaching and I am thrilled to have just passed my CTI written exam.

As a coach, I’m trained to ask the questions that compel people to achieve what they truly want. Watching that transformation in my clients has made me completely fall in love with the practice of coaching. What I love most is that those who seek coaching are naturally capable human beings who can overcome and soar beyond their imaginations. And when they do, it’s miraculous for both of us.

The coaching methodology itself pushes me to continuously improve both in my coaching and in my life, so I get to practice what I preach. Coaching speaks to my values as a person – eg, about being, at times, fiercely courageous in holding my clients accountable to achieving their goals and I love the simplicity and purity of that design.

If you want to know more, contact me!

PS: to all of you CEOs and organizational leaders: people are your largest asset, how are you investing in them?

Next: How to Hire a Coach

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Wavemaker: Elle Kaplan

Wavemakers is an initiative I've kickstarted with Femme-O-Nomics’ founder Leah Eichler (@Femmeonomics) that profiles female innovators — women who are constantly blazing new trails, inspiring others and revolutionizing the status quo.

Elle Kaplan is CEO and founding partner of Lexion Capital Management, the only 100 percent women owned and operated private bank in the United States.You can follow her @ellekaplan.

1. Describe your current state of mind

Optimistic.

2. If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

Amelia Earhart. Everyone remembers Amelia for her incredible achievements as a female pilot. However, she was also an accomplished author who wrote the book, “The Fun of It.” Additionally, Amelia worked as the Aviation Editor for Cosmopolitan Magazine. She had an incredible outlook and lived by a fearlessly-go-after-your-dreams ethos. One of my favorite Amelia Earhart quotations is “If I should bop off it’ll be doing the thing that I’ve always most wanted to do.”

3. What is your greatest indulgence?

My rescue pets, a dog named Magic and my cat named Max. My pets are a daily reminder to allocate my most precious resource, my time, towards some fun time with my pets. 

4. What or who helped you the most to achieve your success?

I’ve had a variety of mentors, both men and women, who’ve been incredibly encouraging. They’ve often had a bigger vision for me than I have had for myself. Ann Kaplan (no relation), one of the first female partners at Goldman Sachs, has always been a great inspiration and sounding board, as well as Maxine Ganer, the founding partner of an extremely successful accounting firm, Ganer, Grossbach and Ganer. She has also had wonderful and inspiring insights and advice.

5. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?

The word “no” is just one person’s opinion. Never let that someone’s opinion stop you or alter your dreams.

 

Wavemaker: Alexandra Brown

Wavemakers is an initiative I've kickstarted with Femme-O-Nomics’ founder Leah Eichler (@Femmeonomics) that profiles female innovators — women who are constantly blazing new trails, inspiring others and revolutionizing the status quo.

This week, meet Alexandra Brown. She is the president of Aprilage Inc., creator of the APRIL® face aging software used globally in health education, science museums, law enforcement and in a number of consumer applications. She is a former television broadcast executive and also consults to the online media industry. You can follow her at @aprilfaceaging.

1. Describe your current state of mind.

Evolving.

2. If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

A Motown singer like Gladys Knight – or even one of the Pips. I first heard “Midnight Train to Georgia” at an impressionable age, and it became my anthem. I still do full on karaoke every time I hear that song.

3. What is your greatest indulgence?

Adventure travel with a great guide, and family in tow, to spectacularly beautiful places off the tourist track. I’m not much of a “beach person.”

4. What or who helped you the most to achieve your success?

There have been a number of fantastic people along the way who have recognized something in me, and just said “Go, Do!” – either as a team leader or as part of a project team. I always knew they had my back, even if I had to figure a lot of stuff out along the way. They taught me to surround yourself with good people, then leap into something, and just do it. Interestingly, there have also been some not-so-fantastic work experiences from which I’ve also learned truly valuable lessons about how NOT to treat people. Learning from both the good and the bad experiences has been just as important to shaping my success.

5. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?

My maternal grandfather, who had to quit school at 13 to support his family, was always embarrassed by his lack of formal education, but he needn’t have been. His “life education” was magnificent, and he understood people:

a. Treat everyone with respect – it doesn’t matter what their job is. They are a human being first.

b. Dress for the job you want.

c. There’s nothing more important than family.

Wavemakers: Sara R. Cohen

Wavemakers is an initiative I've kickstarted with Femme-O-Nomics’ founder Leah Eichler (@Femmeonomics) that profiles female innovators — women who are constantly blazing new trails, inspiring others and revolutionizing the status quo.

This week we meet Sara R. Cohen, a fertility lawyer based in Toronto but with clients throughout Canada and beyond.  She is an advocate for all people accessing assisted reproductive technologies. You can follow her@fertilitylaw.

1. Describe your current state of mind? Excited, inspired, and empowered.

2. If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? I’m feeling pretty fortunate to be me right now. However, I would like to come back as me but having already learned all the tough lessons and figuring out who I am and what it is that I would like to do with my life earlier. I do understand that life is a journey, but I regret time not well spent.

3. What is your greatest indulgence? Lattes and lunches out! The only way I can justify these is that I often enjoy both while networking. My other greatest indulgence is travel – and I wish I could indulge in that more often.

4. What or who helped you the most to achieve your success? I’m inspired daily by women working in careers where they are helping others, in various capacities. Dr. Elaine Herer (an OBGYN at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto) has been very influential in my life, likely without intending to be so. She never fails to impress me with her strength, compassion, knowledge and no BS attitude. Seeing such a strong, professional woman care so much about others inspired me to move into a career where I could help other people, too. 5. What is the best advice you’ve ever received? Do good work and love what you do - the rest will follow. A quote that I love is “who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you are saying.” I am a genuine person and it’s perhaps the quality I am most proud of.

Wavemakers: Kasey Bayne

Wavemakers is an initiative I've kickstarted with Femme-O-Nomics’ founder Leah Eichler (@Femmeonomics) that profiles female innovators — women who are constantly blazing new trails, inspiring others and revolutionizing the status quo.

This week, meet Kasey Bayne, Accounting Ambassador atFreshBooks.Follow her on Twitter @kaseybayne

1. Describe your current state of mind
Excited/nervous – it’s the perfect combination, and one of my favourite feelings. Being excited and a little bit scared, that tells me I’m in a great spot, where I’m taking on new challenges and doing what I love. Excited without the nervous wouldn’t be the same, it wouldn’t have the growth and a bit of adrenaline rush with the unknown. It’s a good place to be.

2. If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? 
A musical theater pro, or a pop star! For that to happen, I’d have to come back with a decent singing voice, and some dance rhythm. Right now, I lack both of those, but it’s fun to play out the flip side on karaoke nights.

3. What is your greatest indulgence?
Well, if you promise not to tell anyone… I love bad reality TV. My PVR is set for The Bachelor” and “America’s Next Top Model”, and I’ll admit to even spending some time in online forums reading about who did what or what someone’s strategy might be. On a quiet night in, it’s a nice chance to turn off at the end of the day.

4. What or who helped you the most to achieve your success 
As cheesy as it sounds (I have no shame about a little cheese), but this is the truth: I couldn’t be who I am today without the support and advice of my Mom. An amazing role model, she is smart and encouraging, while challenging me to go beyond and take risks. This combination has allowed me to grow into who I am today, and pushes me to strive for even greater success in the future.

5. What is the best advice you’ve ever received
One of my favourite pieces of advice that I carry around is from one of the most unlikely of sources. On a random evening, flipping channels, I landed on HGTV, and not more than a few minutes later did I hear the contractor host say – “well, that’s a problem. It’s a good thing every problem has a solution.” I like it because it’s not sage philosopher-type words of advice, it’s just the truth. When I feel stuck or overwhelmed, taking a minute to realize there’s a solution for everything, and I just need to find one that works for this problem – it’s inspiring on a really straightforward level, and the right push to keep going.