Michal's blog

Creating effective boundaries

The third in my series of insights and practical tools for Leading in a 100% Covid World.

My name is Mic, I am a leadership coach working largely in the tech sector for the last two decades with founders and senior executive teams helping them build, grow and thrive. My aspiration is flow - the state of being in flow for oneself, your team and ideally your organization. I believe when we’re in this place we can accelerate our growth and have lasting transformative positive impact towards the goals we have as people, teams and organizations. Weekly I will offer a reflection of what I’m hearing in my practice and my team’s work in leadership development. It’s an incredible time in our human history - my hope is this will give you insight, practical tools you can immediately apply and comfort in our shared experience of managing through Covid19 and leading in these especially challenging times.

The new normal is isolation, strange unfamiliar and maybe unsettling at times. And, as we each find our own new normals, go through the different stages of adjusting, it most likely does not feel stable. We don’t know how long this will last, our normal routines - gym, travel, shopping, work - are massively disrupted and at times it may feel like we’re grasping for stable - as my coach Leslie Williams put it - “I now have an uninvited guest in my house called fear and anxiety - it’s not necessarily mine but it’s certainly here”. And, we want to be productive, feel like we have forward momentum and purpose. That may feel daunting to organize.

I’d like to offer a way, a way of finding balance, rediscovering your own resilience and strength, and learning more about what you need because your go to practices may not be available to you any more. The most effective, resilient and capable leaders that I work with when faced with 'i don't know what to do' get curious, mindful and energized to co-actively be in practice about their most effective ways forward. Let’s get playful and serious about finding out what will work for you now. 

1 - Take EXTRA GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF

Now more than ever, we've got to take really good care of ourselves, I mean extra good. Like fall in love with yourself and those you care about all over again. Do all the great things you'd want to do for them and YOU. This is so important right now because in order for you to lead, parent, support anyone you need to be capable and a huge part of that is starting with yourself, checking in to find out what’s needed and creating an ongoing practice of self care and resilience. 

• What are the practices you can do to nourish your mind, body, and spirit? 
• Start with the basics - how much sleep are you getting? What are you eating? How are you moving your body? Are you someone that already knows how to do this well or is this an opportunity to learn more, join an online community or buddy up with a friend online?

Get curious and playful about what might work for you now. Being playful with your practices is critical to resilience - given we’re all feeling the feels and that can change within one day or one hour - it’s all ok, let go of the notion of 100% or perfection, notice how you feel, what shows up when you try something observe yourself so that you can best judge what brings you ease joy or fun. Yes fun, even in these trying times. Our bodies need to regulate the cortisol being produced by this stress and anxiety and the best ways to do that is to orient towards things that bring you joy and pleasure. For me right now that’s cooking, walking the dog, and I feel blessed to love my work.   

2 - Physical space 

@joshualong3  My home is my work now, and my work is my home. 😀 ##workingfromhome ##corona ##foryou ##coronavirus♬ original sound - joshualong3

This meme was recently shared with me by one of the CEOs I’ve worked with - I hope it has the intended impact of humour ;) 

It made me laugh out loud - Whether you live in a tiny space or large home you still need to find a space you feel you can work. One of the coaches on our team had a great practice around this. First, she cleaned but like CLEANED - got rid of as much clutter as possible cleaned all surfaces created the feeling for herself and her husband of Freshness. 

Then they designated work spaces. Many of them were unconventional - like the dresser in her bedroom that is serving as a standing desk, the kitchen counter (I like that one too), etc. 

Finally, they actively discuss each day where they each want to be. Because they live in a very open small space they need some distance so they can’t hear each other work. So I’ve noticed she moves around - for each video meeting I’ve been with her in the last few days she’s been in a different space and I only hear her. Pretty awesome. 

It’s also important to have variety - moving around so it doesn’t feel like your’ stuck in your basement all the time or in one immovable space. The more we can feel freedom within our own spaces the better for our minds and productivity. 

And the schedule - we as a team redefined what our new norms needed to be to work most effectively. Across my entire coaching practice of all leaders *every one is noticing they are not as productive, creative, motivated* That is ok and normal under these conditions - this was my earlier point about body health and processing cortisol. So on our team - that means - lunch has become sacred. From noon to 1:30 no team meetings are booked. People can use that time however they need to replenish themselves. It’s important. What I’m noticing for me is that I need times in between to walk the dog and get in the garden - both of those things instantly lift my spirits and bring back energy to whatever I’m working on. 

Parents - this is what I’ve heard across my practice - first they are getting all the resources to support their kids. Many are creating schedules for the week that includes screen learning time, play and creativity, and exercise. One of my best friends is a former principle, has 3 kids at home ranging in ages from 8 to 17 - she also has been home schooling her children on and off for decades. She turned their dining room into the classroom for the day. Lessons would be posted on the walls. The entire space was dedicated to learning during the day so the kids could be clear on what they needed to learn and also room enough to play. We need the same things.

3- Boundaries - In & Out

As I was reflecting and writing this article, again my coach offered another important nuance. Boundaries are not just about what we are letting in they are also about what we are giving out. Our focused energy is now more than ever precious - this unwanted house guest called fear and anxiety is taking a certain amount away from us every day - like it or not. And so let’s get mindful of where we want to be focused, what work we want to do, and which people we want to work with. Of course we aren’t fully at choice in this - there are people projects and tasks we are obligated to do (particularly if you're working right now). I’m offering being mindful in how you fill your day so that it doesn’t drain you but rather gives you energy back as much and whenever is possible. Here are some questions to ask yourself about your working day to support this outcome. And, if you’re not working right now - the Mason Jar exercise is something I did when I was in between that really helped me get clear about that. 

Step 1:  Understand your strengths 

1. What do you love doing?
1. What have people said you’re particularly amazing at? Don’t know, now’s the time to ask - send out a short survey to friends and work colleagues you trust (to tell the real truth) current or from your past. 
2. What are your core skills?
• Take the time to think about and write down the responsibilities and tasks in the work that you do that you 1) Love and are great at; 2) Like and are good at; 3) Don’t Like but are good at; 4) Don’t Like and are not good at

Step 2: Structure your day

1. Consider - how can you structure your day to ensure you’re getting some and enough of love and great or like and good and minimize the don’t likes. 
2. Is this an opportunity to elevate someone else you work with in the areas that either you’re not strong or are strong but it doesn’t give you joy

Step 3: Learn more about You, your values and your style

Find out about yourself - the more that we can optimize our work and surroundings to support the best of ourselves the more resilient we can be. 

1. what are your values (and therefore your triggers - the things that are pissing you off), 
2. what do you know of your personality style - have you tried some personality tests? Here are a few that I like and that we use in our coaching practices. In addition a few more that many organizations I’ve worked with use within their teams:
   • Strengthsfinder
   • Enneagram
   • 16personalities
3. Are you a giver or a taker? if you're a giver (get joy from being in service of others) be mindful of how much you’re doing to ensure your energy stores don’t get too depleted. 
   • Here’s a great resource by Adam Grant on this topic where I first learned the phrase

By turning yourself into a science experiment - meaning observing yourself in action through any given day you will begin to notice what is needed to create the optimal day more often, set healthy boundaries and foster greater resilience for yourself. Take care :) 

 

Leading remotely in a 100% Covid World - How to manage a team remotely

When I was at Mozilla Firefox, our team was all over the world, across multiple time zones, cultures and languages. We had to rangle many factors beyond video, chat and shared docs to enable connection and work to happen.

In the face of a rapidly changing situation with Covid-19, most companies have had to go 100% remote for the foreseeable future.  In the tech sector, we’ve worked for decades with distributed teams leveraging technology to share work and maintain connection. Some teams and companies may not have all of the infrastructure in place at the ready, and leaders may have different levels of experience in understanding how to help their workforce to transition to an online environment. In fact, you may think that how you work now is simply how you will continue --no need for adaptation, right? Wrong. 

There’s a lot to unpack about leading in a remote context, and over the next few articles, I will unpack each piece for you. My approach is practical, immediately applicable, and ideally transformative. 

Today’s focus: Running a virtual meeting.

What you did before won’t work the same way now

Having a decision making, problem solving or update meeting via video is not the same as in person. Even though you can “see” your colleagues, you will not have the same physical cues for when to speak, interrupt or offer. You won’t have a whiteboard to draw on. Your quality of technology won’t be ubiquitous. You won’t be able to have the hallway chat on the way into the meeting, or on the way out.

Be deliberate. Be mindful. Be patient. 

Virtual meetings are an opportunity to enable greater focus, accountability and follow through. Preparation is key to ensure an easier transition. People want to keep going, they want to stay productive and move forward so keep up that confident future oriented focus and celebrate the success of each positive accomplishment big or small. 

Here are five tips and resources we use (and teach) that maximize productivity, deepen connection, and ensure focus.

1) Have an agenda. Send it in advance. 

• What is the outcome you are looking for?
• If a follow-up from another meeting, what changes from the last meeting are you trying to solve for
• What data or pre-reading can you send in advance?
• What questions can people come prepared to answer?

2) Do the math.

• Consider how much time you have for the meeting, how long each person might speak and then shorten the list of attendees. For example, if you have 30 minutes and 8 people, even if each person said something for 2 minutes, that’s half your meeting. 
• Who can directly impact the questions you need answered? 

3) Establish meeting norms

• No distractions --be 100% there for 30, 60 or 90 minutes. Nothing is going to happen that will be so radical as to warrant the lack of productivity distractions create. For example,“Can you say that again, I wasn’t listening?” Being there but not being there demonstrates to others the meeting and this time is not important. 
• All cameras on. Show your face. Humans communicate more through body language than speaking. 
• Deliberate inclusion. When we are all 100% remote we will need new ways to hear from everyone in the meeting. No talking over each other --when asking a question either select a person to answer and then have them nominate the next person to speak, or let them pick the first person to answer and then nominate the next person. 
• Check in and check out. Check in --does everyone have the agenda and does anyone need a change in the order? Check out --did everyone get what they needed and summarize next steps

4) Be clear on roles.

• Facilitator - this person ensures great discussion is had and holds time relative to the agenda, some times it’s easier to give the time keeper to someone else so you can focus on the quality of participation
• Note taker - this is the driver of accountability. Capture the decisions that were made, who is doing what by when, etc.How will those notes and actions be captured? Eg gDoc? other?
• Devil’s advocate - when aiming for greater creativity it’s excellent to use tools to counterbalance group think - one of them is the Devil’s advocate (although in many cases there’s plenty of skeptics and we need more inclusion) you can also try on DeBono’s 6 hats as another great resources
• What else is needed? Can someone own the agenda and give the facilitator cues if you’re over time etc. 

5) Identify tools that work for you.

• Zoom, Hangout, GDoc’s, Slack, Confluence, Jira, Asana, Workast, etc There are many tools you can use for many purposes. What will you use for what? What can you standardize on so everyone can find things as needed?
• How will you capture notes and progress?
• What about you and your surrounding - Ensure you’re in a quiet spot with everything you need (water, notes, etc)

Let go of ‘being right’ and ease into the conversation

As a leader, your job is to stay calm in the face of rapid change and fear. You’ve got to hold the line (your north star of focus) while staying out of the weeds to determine what needs to shift when. Be available (with compassion and clarity) and be both open to and offer feedback balancing directness and empathy. 

Covid-19 is a unique global, human experience. People will be going through different emotional reactions at different times. It’s not linear. They will also want to get back to work and ‘normal’ as fast as possible. Support them, and also cut yourself some slack. It’s likely the first time this has happened for you and your team members. Don’t strive for perfect, just effective.

Stay curious about yourself and others through this time - how do you handle stress, fear, ambiguity? What support do you need to stay calm and resilient e.g., get out for a walk in nature, make a lovely tea, talk to a friend?

Thanks for listening, hope this was helpful :D

 

Leading remotely in a 100% Covid World - Fostering accountability virtually

We are working, living our lives and adapting. I am coaching - myself and our wonderful coaching team are continuing to run remote leadership development workshops. My clients (Leaders of companies and teams) are working and adjusting to the current isolation. Parents are figuring out how to educate, entertain and incorporate their kids into their daily virtual lives. I have seen everyone go through varying stages of fear, calm, questioning, sadness - all of the feels and I am humbled to be there for them. 

In these times people are grasping for things they can control and ways to stay connected. As a leader you want to stay grounded and really be listening with empathy for how they are before jumping into action or offering. Find your ways to do that for yourself so that you can truly be there for people. For myself I am doing a daily resilience and replenishing practice which for me looks like walking the dog, meditation, virtual yoga, working (I love my work), farming (I love where we live) and writing. For some of the leaders I work with that looks like a daily workout, cooking, dusting off their hobby list and working. What does yours look like? And, my hope is to continue to share practical approaches to help you lead remotely with ease and impact.

Every leader we are interacting with is saying that people are looking for the one thing they can do to help, focus on, that ensures they are doing the ‘best right thing’. So, offering the right structures, rituals, etc that will keep people focused on the most important initiatives, deepen social connection in their teams, foster balance in work and life while enabling the positivity of forward momentum. That may seem like a tall order, especially when you yourself may not feel balanced or positive and not sure how to do all that through this screen on your computer  ;) Here are a simple set of 5 steps you can do right now to get this impact.

1. Define the Expectations and Results

What is the #1 or 2 priorities, projects or goals your team should be focused on right now? Let’s not lose sight of the long term strategic goals your company is working towards. Break that down into the smaller bits and prioritize them (more on that to come in another piece). This will help people keep the future in mind in the midst of the more chaotic now. My favourite approach to getting clear on expectations comes from Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead - how can you paint what done looks like? This could be you writing it out and sharing, collaborating with your team or direct report(s) to rough out and straw model the project, final report, document etc you’re working on. It’s an opportunity for collaboration, creativity and deepening your relationship. Instead of you simply saying we need this metric increased by x% you can find out what’s motivating to that person about it or to you or to the team or company. What are the impacts on the customer or stakeholders if this is successful. Where are the boundaries for creativity eg we have a limited budget, timeframe, resources or we’re expecting a sustainable return, etc. So many factors go beyond just the metric or thing that’s done. This is a great opportunity to share and learn together. 

2. Deepen Connection and Involve the Team

First and foremost - in this time especially - demonstrating grounded authentic empathy as a leader is most important. How is everyone? What do they need? What are they finding easy or hard? Check in *before* you move the doing, solving or agenda. It may be they’re good and  want to dive in, it may be they want to share - and that may change day to day. Then - relative to the priority - find out what they are willing to do relative to that outcome. What do they hear? What do they want to do? What motivates them about it. This is where the deepening of social connection and commitment comes in. Check your assumptions - you may be motivated by the metric, they may be motivated by the creativity involved. What’s the learning or growth opportunity that is available to them? And, the most crucial part of this puzzle is to find out what are *they willing to commit to do*. If you find yourself back in the…’ok, i’ll do x, y’ then you’ve missed the mark. It’s about shared context (step 1) and what they want to do about it. 

3. Create the Structures that Integrate

This is where we want to find out how we will know we’re on the right track or we accomplished the task at hand? How will we celebrate progress and learn from mis-steps or hypotheses that didn’t work out as intended. How frequently do we want to check in? In the now completely virtual world - you want to figure this out together and leverage the tools available at your company or bring some in. For example, some leaders are doing a twice daily team video call that’s optional to first check in on how everyone is doing and also celebrate progress or discuss obstacles. Other leaders are using Jira boards, shared spreadsheets, company dashboards, etc to track progress. What formal structures can you leverage to track progress on the way and deepen connection among members of your team; you will want to assess together the existing assets you both have to integrate progress against the outcome so that it doesn’t become an extra task to report but rather something that’s easy to do.  What will they do to get help? Is this an opportunity to elevate their game, learn something new - can we make this an explicit part of their development and growth. What can you do to support - have you discussed where the bounds of ‘micro-management’ vs support are. Maybe this task is something they’ve never done before and so they’d like more help than usual, or maybe they are the type of person who doesn’t feel comfortable asking for help so you checking in might be a way of quietly supporting without getting in the way. Figure it out together. 

4. Measure what is accomplished and share in public spaces

What exactly will tell you that you’ve accomplished the goal. Is this a KPI you can identify? Or something that can be converted into a SMART set of micro-goals. Essentially you want to answer, how will we know we are tracking in the right direction, it was done and successful and by when? 

The critical practice here is bit-size leading and lagging indicators of success that you both collaborate on defining. And created a shared space or tool (spreadsheet, jira board, etc) to celebrate progress and learn along the way. 

5. Deepen connection by Repeating and Rewarding

In the current context of remote work and self-isolation going on around the globe people need even greater human connection. Checking in on projects in fun and rewarding ways are wonderful opportunities to deepen that connection. Champion the progress you’re seeing with virtual high fives, love bubbles that float across your shared screen, and where it’s lacking with an effective balance of empathy and directness,  find out what’s getting in the way? What do they need? What do you need?

Leverage the tools available to you (even the simplest that of virtual team check ins) create a repeating cadence around them, celebrate progress and champion learning and then let go of any worry and fear it won’t get done. 

I hope this was a helpful approach to lead remotely and create engaging productive :D

Practical guide to managing people

I have often been asked to share some common situations new team leads face and that come up in my coaching practice. Here are a few that I hope to be instructive but not definitely not comprehensive. (It's an excerpt from my talk at 'Software Team Meet up'. There are many wonderful and much longer guides to being an effective first-time manager; my favourite book on the topic is ‘First Break All the Rules”.

In my humble opinion, the primary purpose of your role as manager is to keep your people engaged, productive and growing. Here are the ways I think that can be done effectively:

 

Effective 1:1's

• Ensure your folks are challenged, engaged and highly productive

• It’s an opportunity for mutual feedback

• Creates deeper and clearer mutual understanding of motivation

• No surprises at formal checkpoints (performance reviews)

• It’s investing time for them and you

• Keep regular and consistent meeting times and agenda - it’s an important indicator of your commitment to them

 

Agenda - powerful questions:

1 Version:

   •    How do you think you are doing?

   •    How do I think you are doing?*

   •    How will you know? what information do you need? then what/what’s next?

   •    How is the team doing?

2 Version:

   •    What was the highlight of your week?

   •    What could have gone better?

   •    Is there anything blocking you, or that you need from me?

   •    How am I doing?

   •    How are you doing?

   •    Is there anything else I haven’t asked about that I should have

For more depth behind this model check out Fred Kaufman’s “Conscious Business” model for Communication: Listening, Ask Questions, Validating, Summarize, Express, Negotiate, Commit(ments)

 

Setting stretch goals to achieve your organizations Objectives & Key Results

 

A good number is 3-5 goals at any one time. Structure your direct reports’ goals so that they support your goals, which in turn support your company’s goals. The best goals are a balance of personal development/learning and outcome-based goals that line up to your team's Vision and Organizations’ Vision/Goals.

 

These goals must be within your and your staff’s control. It’s a collaborative process where you provide the context and you want to give them lots of room to define how they plan to accomplish them.  Goals are best when they are specific, reasonable and have a timeline associated with them.

Examples of personal development goals you might pick are: improve my Python coding skills so that I get faster and better and the number of bugs in my code are significantly reduced,  find 5 creative ways to acquire customers that result in x more customers over y period of time etc.

 

Most successful folks focus on breaking down large goals into mini-goals or milestones both because it's easier to manage and because it feels good to see your progress over time.

 

There are a great many resources around goal setting

   •    Chapter 2 of Becoming the Evidence-Based Manager

   •    http://topachievement.com/smart.html

   •    https://www.gv.com/lib/how-google-sets-goals-objectives-and-key-results-okrs

 

How to course correct poor performers

When people are experiencing a performance struggle e.g. they are not meeting your expectations or missing clear goals/deadlines, here's what I recommend:

Step 1:

   •    1:1 verbal discussion (you and the employee) about issue, and

   •    use this guide:

1.   Put them at ease

1. Ask permission to give feedback

2. Choose a suitable moment

3. Provide feedback in private

2. Be specific and observable

1. • Stick to observable facts

2. • Avoid judgment, opinions and comments

3. • Avoid absolutes (e.g., never, always, constantly)

3. Explain the impact

1. •Describe specifically how the behavior promotes or hinders desired results

4. Work together on next steps

1. • Confirm - you may not have the whole story

2. •Understand– simple confusion is common

3. •Help -involve other person in identifying options

 

If issue issues persists please continue to Step 2

 

Step 2) Involve HR and/or create a Performance Improvement Plan

By this point the person is no longer surprised by the issue. In my experience people generally choose to either try and improve or acknowledge this isn’t a good fit for them and negotiate a departure.

 

Step 3) A performance plan sets clear expectations of items needing resolving/repairing and the ultimatum clear-- with a hard date set.  For example: 30 days to do X and Y, if not met, then termination. Signature or some other form of clear accountability on part of employee

 

Step 4) Success — a new skills is built and level of achievement is possible or negotiate their termination - transition to leaving e.g. will they have time to wrap up, do you want them to go, what will fair compensation be (consider how you would want to be treated in the same situation).

Know that many folks in this same situation have turned things around and are now highly successful as a result of this practice. Sometimes the sting of direct feedback is what we need to find focus and performance.

 

Delegating to continuously build your next team leads

 

The main principle behind this approach requires that you allow for failure. It will feel incredibly difficult to let go - to feel the sting of watching someone on your team potentially fail. It’s probably among the hardest things to do. This is a four step approach:

Phase 1: requires that you offer support and guidance

Phase 2: tactical instruction, describing the how and why

Phase 3: support and guidance, encouraging and championing their success thus far and course correcting

Phase 4: let them go - celebrate success

 

A word or few, on adding new team members

 

1 - hold a 1:1 meeting and cover the following:

a - share the vision of the team,

b-  relevant history of your team in the context of your organization

c- discuss a preliminary set of SMART goals for the person e.g., get up to speed on, focus on, etc.

d- set frequency for check-ins on progress and time to get to know each other e.g., weekly or bi-weekly and time of day

2 - Have a fun (whatever fun means for you) team type session to welcome them. in that session you can share with each other this:

a - strengths and what that means to each person e.g., i'm an activator and in this job that = ...

b - learning e.g., I can contribute this great stuff/skills/experience to team and would really like to learn x, y, or z (you could also add dislikes e.g., i hate filing but will do it in a pinch)

c - logistics/style e.g.,  never call me before 10am cause i'm a late riser; I like direct and timely feedback

 

Please ask me to provide more insights for you in whatever situation you may find yourself. email me :)

Career Growth and Transitions aka Mountain Climbing

 

Many of my coaching clients are in varying stages of career transition and growth - particularly defining ‘What’s next?!’. I like the metaphor of mountain climbing as we consider a career choice(s) going forward. Are you climbing the next peak? Are you resting as you reassess the next climb? Are you at the top surveying what you’ve accomplished? Figuring out where my client is in their climb can help us work together to determine where they should go next.

 

Personally, I’m at the top of a recent peak, having taken a good rest and reflected on what I’ve just accomplished. Now I’m assessing where I’m going next and what I’ll need to be successful. It’s from this lovely perspective that I’ve been able to articulate six key elements into a Framework I need to evaluate my path and my ‘Stake’ for my next significant climb: Vision, Values, Commitment, Structure, Health and Financials.

 

What do I mean by a ‘Stake’? A Stake is a statement that represents your rallying cry, your motto, a notion that will sustain and propel you forward. It is also something you are tethered to (much like a stake in the ground) that you can return to over and over again to be reminded and re-energized. A Stake typically takes the form “I will be ___ so that I can do ___.” It’s important to capture both elements of being and action. How you are or how you aspire to be in order to achieve whatever great action you intend to undertake. (The concept of ‘Stake’ is based on the co-active leadership model).

 

When I was on the plateau resting and rejuvenating, my Stake was “with laughter and steadfast focus I open the door to my new way” (I wrote more about this in a previous blog post). That gave me the way to be able to process my recent experiences and get myself ready for my next climb. Now that I’m ready to climb my next mountain, I don’t yet know what’s at the top of this next mountain except that I know enough to know it when I’ll see it. So for now my stake is “grounded confidence so that I can bend (be flexible) while I climb”. That’s all I need now to start climbing.

 

This is where my framework comes in, when we climb mountains we know where we’re heading - up - but the path there isn’t always straight. Sometimes you need to handle switchbacks, sharp right or left angles, etc. In the software or startup world - we call those pivots. In a career landscape, these are milestones and data points. As I climb I may find that a working assumption is validated or denied which requires a course correction etc.

Leveraging the book Change Anything, which is based on research in human psychology to help people create new habits to support lasting change, I defined key elements in my framework I could use to evaluate where I want to go next. My next step or stage or climb in my career is likely to span a minimum of 5 and more likely 10 years. I want to be sure that I am choosing the mountain carefully and am as prepared as possible to tackle it. Here’s my framework for that assessment.

1. Vision: how does this opportunity line up to your big ass Vision for your life? or this stage of your life?

2. Values: how does this opportunity align with your values?

3. Commitment: does this opportunity give you a sense of commitment, purpose, motivation? Will it stand through the tough and the easy times ahead?

4. People/Team: who will you be surrounded with? do they inspire you? will you learn from them? what do you like about them?

5. Structures:

1. Economics/Financials: how do the economics of the opportunity line up to your needs over the time period proposed e.g. if you’re joining a startup do you get equity and salary, what’s the risk of the equity, does the salary cover your cost of living, etc

2. Environment e.g. geographic location, office, What is the physical environment and how does that support what you need e.g. working from home or an office, is it in the same city you live or will you be commuting, is there travel, is that good? etc

6. Health: how will this career move support your ability to maintain overall health, physical, mental and spiritual?

Many career paths are straightforward, there is a role, title, or position you aspire to within your company or industry. What is not typically as clear is what it will take to get there - your path. That’s where the climbing comes in. What do you need to climb? what knowledge? who can you rely on as allies for your climb? what will serve as data points to let you know you’re on the right path?

I hope your Stake and this Framework strengthens your capability to grow in your career and helps you have fun climbing :)!

An exercise for creating space, saying ‘no’ and redefining your next chapter: The Mason Jar Exercise for Spaciousness, Choice and Resonance

How much space do you have in your life? How much of it is filled with obligations you’ve accepted for others? What percentage do you give to yourself for pursuits that are just for you? Could you stand to make a little more space in your life just for you? Could less commitments mean more quality time to focus on your Vision for your life?

 

I asked myself these questions recently and discovered that my life was almost entirely filled with obligations, guilt and hardly any room to pursue my own passions, or time to rejuvenate. One of my core values is to be of service to people - I love being helpful, creating value, offering support and transformation as a coach. Because of this, I felt obligated to serve my clients whenever they needed, whether it cut in to personal commitments or not . I would feel guilty if I wasn’t able to be available for them. It became that I was always putting everyone else first, and I was way at the bottom of the list —or sometimes I never made it on to the list at all.

When I noticed how busyness had taken over, I devised what I call “the Mason Jar Exercise”. I needed to create space and reconnect with Vision and Purpose and, have time to contemplate what’s next so that I can choose actions that support my next big chapter.

Many of the folks I coach have similar challenges. They feel overwhelmed, have no time for themselves and feel so busy in their lives they’ve lost their way, lost their deep connection to their vision and purpose.Do you find that any of what I’m talking about applies to you?? Can you check in with how your life is resonating with you, how much you feel in tune with your values in all of your pursuits, supporting roles and actions?

 

If you find, like so many of us, you could use more space and time in your life, try out the Mason Jar exercise for yourself. Here’s how:

 

The Mason Jar Exercise for Spaciousness, Choice and Resonance

 

1.    Take a Mason Jar and fill it with gravel (or any other small rocks) in proportion to how full you feel your life is out of integrity with your values. It’s a great way to visualize the things taking up space in your life, I was at about 85%.

2.    Fill the remaining space with some of your favourite things e.g. momentoes, shells, etc.

3.    As you stare at this now full, or even over full jar, contemplate what you want for your life and write out your ‘stake’—the mantra or statement that propels you forward in integrity. For me it was “with laughter and steadfast focus I open the door to my new way”.

4.    Each day choose a stone to ‘throw back into nature’. In my case, I would declare my stake, open my front door and toss it into our forest. Then you must challenge yourself in the day to let go of or get rid of an obligation or choice you’ve made that’s out of line with your values until the jar is empty save for your few favourite things. For example, ‘Today I am ridding myself of the obligation to ___ and this is making room for me to embrace ___". Now you can begin a study of the space, the singular beauty and significance of the items that remain. Notice what you want more of and where the draw is to fill it back up again.

 

This was a powerful and transformative exercise for me. It took me about a month to complete. I noticed how full my life was in activity and distraction and that I felt out of integrity with my values and that I wasn’t making resonant choices. The result was a beautiful appreciation for my life and a deep acknowledgement of how I want to live. Less has become more. Stillness has expanded my perspectives. Now I feel like I can take on my next mountain.

 

What are you noticing?

How are you taking care of yourself?

The leaders I coach drive themselves and their teams to great achievements, are engaged in what they do, love their work and have passion and compassion in how they work for their teams and customers. They face tough situations - impossible-seeming deadlines or goals, difficult conversations, constant re-balancing of work-life priorities, and crazy business scenarios we’ve never faced before.

Their days can be both energizing and completely draining. And each day they face those choices and predicaments at times with full grace and others with total foolishness.

Along the way I hear and offer the questions - how are you taking care of yourself? how will you rejuvenate? how will you maintain balance? so you I ask these questions of the leaders I work with so that they can keep driving their goals, over-achieving each day and showing up for the important people in your life :)

 

I focus on three ways to do this myself.

• Knowing myself - spending time to understand and check in with my values, triggers, and motivations.

• Doing a daily practice - i’ve created a daily and weekly practice that touches on my mind, body and spirit. this discipline and evolving practice keeps me learning, present and ‘in balance’

• Being discerning about my influences - choose the people, experiences and beauty that influence my life and what’s important about that today, this week or month or year.

Two Steps to Getting Better Organized

Recently I learned, through ClearFit’s  ‘job-fit’ profiling tool that being organized is not my strength - anyone who knows me might be surprised by this. I mean I manage my life by lists, I tend towards being OCD the day before a vacation, or running an event, and my filing systems are beautiful! Well it turns out that these are all coping mechanisms for naturally *not* being organized. If I was naturally so - this would simply flow effortlessly.

 

 

As a Leadership Coach  - I have the advantage of hearing about this common problem from many vantage points. There is not one client I’ve had, from the C-suite on down who doesn’t struggle with this same thing. There are an amazing plethora of books dedicated to this topic  and my favourite first foundational tool is Covey’s First Things First. This book is my go-to on this topic because he uses a super simple model that’s easy to remember and apply for any list of priorities. But when I am feeling particularly overwhelmed or stuck in the choice modality, I turn to the two action steps I share below

 

 

So, from the ‘trenches’, here is a dead simple 2-step daily practice. And the key to the success of this approach is daily practice!

 

• Step 1 - Each morning take a few minutes to yourself to sit quietly and answer two questions: What is most important today to focus on? How do you want to show up for the people you will be meeting?  

• I do this sometimes in the car while waiting for the engine to warm up in winter - I close my eyes, and take some nice slow and deep breaths

• My favourite version of this practice, is to take 15 minutes and mediate in my cozy been bag chair ideally in the morning sunrise light and find the answer to these questions before my time is done

• Step 2 - When you get that 'overwhelm' feeling take 3 deep - and I mean deep - breaths. Then decide what is most important in that moment. And/or go for a walk around the block - essentially you want to get in touch with your physical being.

• Bonus step - find an activity that works for you in practicing that brain/body connection  eg,Yoga, TaiChi, Basketball, Running, whatever will do it for you.

So, what's working for you?

Comment below or tweet me @micberman

Five Steps to Hiring a Great Executive Coach

Choosing an executive coach can feel daunting. Simply search for "coach, <insert your city>" and results will vary from the Coach brand to coaching associations. Here are five simple steps I’ve found to be the most effective for choosing a coach: 

1. Identify why you want coaching. You may be taking on a new leadership role, making a major life transition, leaning in to who and how you want to show up in the world, etc.
2. Research potential coaches. How were they trained? What references can they offer? Do they work remotely or in person?
3. Try before you buy. Set up a sample session and notice how you feel before, during and after -– without judging your feelings. Do you feel that you can trust him/her, especially with your deepest, darkest fears? Does he/she inspire or energize you? Often this will come down to your gut feel about the person.
4. Make a resonant choice. Create some space around your decision by facilitating your search in the way you make decisions best. For me, my best decisions come when I’ve done my research about the topic and the candidates, and then gathered input from as many sources as I feel I need. This process helps me to follow my gut once I’m actually engaged with someone.
5. Let the data be your guide. As you lean in with your coach and begin the work, check in after three sessions. Is he/she meeting your expectations? Be honest about why or why not, and the role you play in the dynamic. Engage in a dialogue about how it’s going and decide from there. It's unlikely you'll have made a poor choice, but if you have, both of you should be able to talk about it. If your coach can’t comfortably engage with you on this topic, there’s a clue.

It’s also important to be clear about the role you play in the coaching relationship. Getting the most out of coaching requires what I have found to be the hallmarks of highly effective people in life overall:  

1. The willingness to be honest with yourself and your coach about how you're really behaving and what you're choosing, whether consciously or not, with the actions you're taking.
2. The willingness to make a resonant choice about how you want to be in the world, who you want to be and to stand up for what you truly want. In other words: your BIG AGENDA.
3. The willingness to be held accountable for reaching your goals.

To be sure, this type of self-introspection can be a bit challenging, but just as with sports training, a bit of pain will give you major gains. I recently hired a personal trainer and I love her even when I hate her –- she will not let me get away with anything! My goal may be three repetitions at a certain weight but if I can only do one or two right now, that's my reality and I want to work to overcome it. The problem is that without my trainer, I’ll still be using old habits to overcome it a year and 10 more pounds from now. It’s the same with executive coaching… a focused approach with a trusted guide will fast-track your development and ultimately your success.

For more information, contact me any time at michalmberman at gmail.com.

Three Ways an Executive Coach Transforms Your Impact!

As an executive coach, I’ve seen people’s careers transformed by coaching. Many of the world's most admired companies, from Google to Goldman Sachs, invest in coaching, and annual spending on coaching in the U.S. is estimated at roughly $1 billion, according to Harvard Business Review. Yet I find that many people still don’t know what executive coaching is, how it works and what it can do for them. Here’s some insight.

Coaching defined

Simply put, coaching is personal training that helps professionals reach their goals, no matter where they are in the workforce – entry-level, CEO and everything in between. Much like a personal trainer works your body, an executive coach works your mind, helping you develop the mental strength, emotional intelligence and instinctive ability to problem solve and relate with others in the workplace.

Coaching uses a proven methodology of inquiry, called powerful questions, that’s been around for decades. The process is designed to leverage your unique personality and strengths, and it does so not by giving you the answers but by helping you learn to ask and answer the right questions on your own throughout your career’s myriad challenges.

The profession is governed by the International Coach Federation and has several internationally renowned schools, such as the one I attended: The Coaches Training Institute, the largest and oldest coach training school in the world.

What can an executive coach do for you?

Be a trusted sounding board.

I have found that most leaders thrive when they have a trusted guide who has walked in their shoes and is a truly unbiased source of feedback. Very few career and workplace challenges are brand new; a person’s experience or lack thereof is usually the variable. A good coach has no skin in the game other than your success as you’ve defined it, and will help you anticipate, problem-solve and build internal partnerships with the skill of a seasoned professional.

Support you with transitioning to a new role or career.

With most new roles come high expectations and unfamiliar territory, such as managing former peers or taking on managerial duties after years of virtual autonomy. Research shows when someone assumes a new or different leadership role, they have a 40% chance of demonstrating disappointing performance, and 82% of newly appointed leaders derail because they fail to build partnerships with subordinates and peers. An executive coach will help you transition effectively and build others’ trust in your ability to do the job.

Reveal derailing behaviour or blind spots.

According to Harvard Business Review, 2 out of 5 new CEOs fail in their first 18 months on the job – not for lack of competence, but due to hubris and other self-limiting behaviors. Whether you’re a CEO or receptionist, understanding the impact you have with your actions versus the impact you want to have can literally make the difference between being good and being great at what you do. Sometimes discovering a blind spot means helping people uncover their true purpose or higher calling, along with the fears that prevent them from acknowledging and acting on it.

It’s important to note that a good coach – versus a mentor, colleague, therapist or even a trusted friend – will hold you accountable for reaching your goals and will play an active role in helping you achieve your desired success.

Shared rewards

After decades of success working with many talented leaders at some of the world’s best-known brands, I decided to make my own transition to executive coaching and I am thrilled to have just passed my CTI written exam.

As a coach, I’m trained to ask the questions that compel people to achieve what they truly want. Watching that transformation in my clients has made me completely fall in love with the practice of coaching. What I love most is that those who seek coaching are naturally capable human beings who can overcome and soar beyond their imaginations. And when they do, it’s miraculous for both of us.

The coaching methodology itself pushes me to continuously improve both in my coaching and in my life, so I get to practice what I preach. Coaching speaks to my values as a person – eg, about being, at times, fiercely courageous in holding my clients accountable to achieving their goals and I love the simplicity and purity of that design.

If you want to know more, contact me!

PS: to all of you CEOs and organizational leaders: people are your largest asset, how are you investing in them?

Next: How to Hire a Coach

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